you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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