You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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