He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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