I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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