if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
