what day is it and did you see me today?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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