so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
