there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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