im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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