so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
