nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
