Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
