I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
