oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
3 2 1 whiskey
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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