He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
