I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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