She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
