We won't sleep together?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
