You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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