he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
