Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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