They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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