while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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