He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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