Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
