apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
