Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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