yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
