I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
