i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Damn victory sex feels great
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
