What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
