I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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