"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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