i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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