I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
