She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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