Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
