We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
