You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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