Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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