Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
