operation harelip BJ is a go
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
