Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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