Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
