so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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