oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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