There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I didn't notice because vodka
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
