I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
