if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
