you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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