well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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