I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
